Thou Shalt Not Live in Fear
Mikey Friedman, founder of Mikey’s Way Foundation, often used the written word to express his innermost thoughts and philosophical perspectives. Such as, in his essay, “The Touch of a Soul Mate, the Thrill of the Hunt” he speaks about probability and how we might choose to live in a random world. For example, here he draws from his experience with randomness, suggesting that “Thou shalt not live in fear.”
The Will of Probability – Thou Shalt Not Live In Fear
“With all the illusions of free will, life is still subject to the will of probability.” Mikey wrote, “We see it every day. Fear is the shepherd, and we are the sheep. And so, the question fades from is life random, to how should one live in a random world. Should we dwell in the shadows of fear? There is only one answer. Thou shalt not live in fear.”
Random Events Alter Our Lives
When Mikey wrote this essay, the September 11 terrorists attacks had recently occurred. As a result, his reflection of that horrific time illustrates the power of random events. “It’s all about the right place at the right time.” he wrote, “Random events that greatly alter our lives occur without warning. They strike without passion or prejudice, without generosity or jealousy, without malice or mercy. You and your family hurry your Samsonite suitcases onto the conveyor belt. The smiling man in the navy uniform punches your ticket. You walk through metal detectors and carry-on screening. And you board. What you do not know is that fate has chosen your plane to be hijacked by terrorists. What you don’t know is that this 11th of September will live in infamy forever. What you do not know is the term ‘terminal’ will soon take literal meaning.”
Do Not be Afraid
“To the unfortunate people who were aboard the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and in Pennsylvania fate was particularly cruel.” Mikey wrote. “But this does not mean we should be afraid. In the history of air travel, millions of successful flights have taken place. Does this mean because the slightest chance of crashing exists that we should fear flying? By this logic, you shouldn’t go outside either; a plane could fall from the sky on top of you. By this logic, you should not breathe the air, for germs airborne could get you sick. And without breathing you die.”
Life is a Series of Moments
“But then again, if you live by this logic, you are already dead.” Mikey explained. “Life is a series of moments. It is the birth of a child, the kiss of a lover, the touch of a soul mate. It is a warm sun on the beach, it is the rush of adrenaline, it is the thrill of the hunt. And if you do not stop to observe these precious snippets of time as they occur, you will miss them. Fear is the distraction. If you are constantly worried about the future, how can you live today? You can’t.”
You Can’t Be Afraid
In his short life, Mikey significantly experienced the fate of randomness. As he describes his personal journey with a cancer diagnosis he does so with incredible strength and wisdom beyond his years. “I have seen the power of the random.” he writes, “In the middle of my freshman year of high school, I was diagnosed with a rare, malignant, and aggressive sarcoma. Cancer. The general public fears that word. My cancer was random. Completely random. My doctor said it was neither environmental nor hereditary. Just random mutation by genetic translocation. Of the many things I learned through this experience, there is one that only a survivor can fully comprehend: you cannot be afraid. You just can’t.”
“There is a quote. ‘Man fears what he cannot see.’ “Mikey wrote further explaining, “Well I could not see the tumors in my abdomen. I recall saying one line to myself when I knew for a fact that the cancer still dwelt inside me, “What brews in my stomach,” “But I did not fear it. If I had lived the whole experience in fear, I never would have gotten out alive, whether the cancer is gone or not.”
Precious Moments
Mikey made a concerted effort to live his life without fear and he did so with humor while also remembering to savor every moment. “I saw that you just have to take life as it is handed to you. Those snippets, though sometimes obscured by the shadow of misfortune, require only the inner light of your own self to illuminate them. I chose humor, for example. Humor is cancer. By being uplifting and high spirited and humorous, I was able to not miss out on a year of life. By not being afraid, I was able to live. And so, the next time you are dealt an unfavorable hand, or the next time you are afraid of the hand about to be dealt, remember one thing: life does not stop to let you enjoy the precious moments. It is here and then it is all gone.”